Flair airlines is run how I imagine an airline would be run if Michael Scott was in charge of it.
I am sitting and writing this at hour four, of an expected six hour delay. Belligerent would hardly come close to describing how I feel right now. A six hour delay for an hour-long flight. One would have been halfway there by now if one had chosen to drive or take the train… and would have enjoyed scenic cross-state views rather than having to look at the rest of the frustrated passengers and hear continues delay announcements over the airport's intercom.
For context, my 1:45pm flight from Calgary to Vancouver was delayed about 6 hours, and is now scheduled to leave at 7:40pm. Like an inept doctor beating around the bush rather than forthright telling you that you have cancer, Flair airlines pushed the departure time back in stages every one and a half hours (First it was 3:00pm... then 5:20pm... now 7:40pm), and much like the increasingly devastating stages of cancer, each push-back came with it increasingly dire consequences to my - and I'm sure the other passengers - mental states.
As I predicted after the second delay announcement. this time from 3pm to 5:20pm, a large, unruly crowd - led by my Indian father prone to hysterical fits of anger- had formed around the helpless gate attendant. He may not get out of this alive. It is truly remarkable how different races join together in common hatred towards a corporation. Nothing brings people together better than shared inconvenience. Now if only the world was one giant travel delay… maybe we would work together more… Ah, I kid…
Many people are leaving in disgust, having lost all hope that this flight will leave the tarmac today. I don't blame them, it wouldn't be the first time. But guess what ladies and gentlemen! Flair is 'sorry for the change to your travel plans' and would like to help by 'providing complimentary $10 meal vouchers to every one in your reservation.'
Nothing screams impudence for its customers more than valuing 6 hours (or more) of their lives at $10. That comes around to the generous amount of a $1.67 per hour. To give you perspective, a flight ticket to Vancouver costs around $90. It's cheap, just not $1.67 cheap.
So, what does the common man do when faced with such a situation? Does he shout at the helpless gate attendant (like my father so elegantly did)? Does he rip up his meal voucher and go home? Does he write a scathing review that will make no impact whatsoever?
No!
He sits and waits… and for each passing minute, he feels Flair's aeroplane shaped c*ck sliding further and further up his a**, and he frowns and he moans, but he takes it like a man… because deep inside he knows, and he regrets that he knows, that it is his own fault, for cheaping out, for trying to save a couple o' hard earned bucks, and deciding to fly with the McDonald's of Canada.
Oh, look…they delayed it again to 9:30pm. Sigh.
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